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~i would fly, but my wings are severed~
¿Säë, ïs yöü?
Created on 2002-05-05 12:52:28 (#549954), last updated 2006-07-05
1,510 comments received, 2,064 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
1,171 Journal Entries, 1 Tag, 3 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Nebuchadnëzzar Emtarkanderündersgünderson |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 04-04 |
| Location: | Fayetteville, Georgia, United States |
Bioi have no grasp on why i do the things i do. i, apparently, am the most confusing person on the face of this planet. i feel as though no one really understands me (especially myself) and i am fine with that. if people knew me fully, how exciting would i be?
i'm with the most wonderful girl i've ever known: Lisandra Baez Martinez. she's creative, and fun, and passionate, and all sorts of other things that i like in the ladies. oh yeah, she's sexy too. mmm...sexy. so, be jealous everyone, for i have the greatest girlfriend you wish you had.
i drink on occasion now. "but Brandon, you were so--" shut up. I don't care anymore. it's fun. i got fucked up not to long ago, but i can hold my liquor. and that's mainly what i drink. i don't like beer, it's nasty, and so is wine. bitch about it and, well, it won't get you anywhere.
i dislike people. however, i do like persons. if you are part of the "people" category, then you are boring and you do what "they" tell you to (i.e. watch mindless television like MTV, listen to the radio and "like" the bands they play only because they are over played, where particular clothes because they are "cool" and you won't be as "cool" as your friends if you don't shell out that $100 you cut 20 lawns for to buy that hat, etc.). on the other hand, if you are a person, then we will most likely get along. persons think for themselves, pursue knowledge for personal fulfillment and betterment of their person (not just for a job), and enjoy things that challenge them mentally and emotionally be it a movie, another person, or a task that they intend to accomplish.
i am in a creative slump. i work too much and when i get home, i don't want to think too much. so i don't make things. sucks.
"You are defined by what you love, not by what loves you."
"All these 'I'm sorries' and 'I miss you's' are useless. I fucked this one up long ago."
"i don't know why i'm like this i never asked to be like this i don't know how it started and i don't know how to change and shit i'm just paralyzed by all this fucking indecision and what should i do and where should i go and who am i...and everything is so fucking empty i can't stand it and i'm paralyzed again and i hate it and i hate me and oh my god i hate all the drugs and booze and bullshit it's not for me it's all just fratboy screaming out the windows at passersby assholery and it makes my skin crawl and how do i avoid having to deal with those kind of people is there something wrong with me for even trying i mean should't i just relax and smile and ignore all this juvenile crap just pretend it doesn't matter 'cause it doesn't and collect a paycheck like everyone else and never actually do the things i keep saying i'll make time for the things i really want to do and tick tock tick tock die without ever doing anything that means a goddamn thing or helping a single person but that's okay because i was marginally happy the whole time prety much but is that enough and christ on a crutch what is it i really wnat to do anyhow and is it possible to 'make a different' will i ever figure it out whit it's not making big impotent screams at 'normal' people what the hell does that word even mean anyway and is it wrong to hate people who embrace the term and yeah it is wrong but it's still a problem isn't it and can i do anything about conformity and violence and corruption and hate and greed and AARGH fundamentalist churchy illogical bullshit i mean yeah it makes some people happy and they're not all bad but some are some are some really really are and should they be my target and should i even have 'targets' and how can i fix it and i don't know...i don't know...and it's the not knowing that breaks my legs. i don't know and it's all so blurry i just want to die and i know that's a cliche and fuck you, too."
~Serenity Rose~
i'm with the most wonderful girl i've ever known: Lisandra Baez Martinez. she's creative, and fun, and passionate, and all sorts of other things that i like in the ladies. oh yeah, she's sexy too. mmm...sexy. so, be jealous everyone, for i have the greatest girlfriend you wish you had.
i drink on occasion now. "but Brandon, you were so--" shut up. I don't care anymore. it's fun. i got fucked up not to long ago, but i can hold my liquor. and that's mainly what i drink. i don't like beer, it's nasty, and so is wine. bitch about it and, well, it won't get you anywhere.
i dislike people. however, i do like persons. if you are part of the "people" category, then you are boring and you do what "they" tell you to (i.e. watch mindless television like MTV, listen to the radio and "like" the bands they play only because they are over played, where particular clothes because they are "cool" and you won't be as "cool" as your friends if you don't shell out that $100 you cut 20 lawns for to buy that hat, etc.). on the other hand, if you are a person, then we will most likely get along. persons think for themselves, pursue knowledge for personal fulfillment and betterment of their person (not just for a job), and enjoy things that challenge them mentally and emotionally be it a movie, another person, or a task that they intend to accomplish.
i am in a creative slump. i work too much and when i get home, i don't want to think too much. so i don't make things. sucks.
"You are defined by what you love, not by what loves you."
"All these 'I'm sorries' and 'I miss you's' are useless. I fucked this one up long ago."
"i don't know why i'm like this i never asked to be like this i don't know how it started and i don't know how to change and shit i'm just paralyzed by all this fucking indecision and what should i do and where should i go and who am i...and everything is so fucking empty i can't stand it and i'm paralyzed again and i hate it and i hate me and oh my god i hate all the drugs and booze and bullshit it's not for me it's all just fratboy screaming out the windows at passersby assholery and it makes my skin crawl and how do i avoid having to deal with those kind of people is there something wrong with me for even trying i mean should't i just relax and smile and ignore all this juvenile crap just pretend it doesn't matter 'cause it doesn't and collect a paycheck like everyone else and never actually do the things i keep saying i'll make time for the things i really want to do and tick tock tick tock die without ever doing anything that means a goddamn thing or helping a single person but that's okay because i was marginally happy the whole time prety much but is that enough and christ on a crutch what is it i really wnat to do anyhow and is it possible to 'make a different' will i ever figure it out whit it's not making big impotent screams at 'normal' people what the hell does that word even mean anyway and is it wrong to hate people who embrace the term and yeah it is wrong but it's still a problem isn't it and can i do anything about conformity and violence and corruption and hate and greed and AARGH fundamentalist churchy illogical bullshit i mean yeah it makes some people happy and they're not all bad but some are some are some really really are and should they be my target and should i even have 'targets' and how can i fix it and i don't know...i don't know...and it's the not knowing that breaks my legs. i don't know and it's all so blurry i just want to die and i know that's a cliche and fuck you, too."
~Serenity Rose~
| |||
| Reach for the lasers with Antic's Sims-ulator! |
ConnectInterests (150):
a perfect circle, afi, against me!, agent m, alkaline trio, anime, anti-flag, aqua teen hunger force, atari, audioslave, audiovent, auf der maur, bad religion, band of brothers, battle pope, being john malkovich, being straight edge, big dumb face, big fish, blue man group, books, boondock saints, boston, bouncing souls, boy hits car, brad pitt, braveheart, brian michael bendis, choke, chuck palahniuk, coheed and cambria, coldplay, colorado avalanche, comic books, cowboy bebop, daredevil, demetri martin, donnie darko, drawing, dropkick murphys, edward norton, edward scissorhands, face to face, fight club, fire, flogging molly, foo fighters, food, futurama, games, garth ennis, guilty gear x2, gungrave, gwen stefani, happy tree friends, hellsing, hockey, homestarrunner.com, hoobastank, i feel sick, incubus, invader zim, invisible monsters, j.r.r. tolkien, jason statham, jet, jhonen vasquez, john malkovich, johnny depp, johnny the homicidal maniac, k-pax, kevin spacey, kill bill, killswitch, lemonade and brownies, london, lord of the rings, lullaby, mark bagley, mcfarlane toys, meat, medal of honor, memento, movies, music, nightmare before christmas, ninjas, no doubt, offspring, outlaw star, pennywise, pez, pirates, pirates of the caribbean, primus, procrastination, pulp fiction, pusa, radiskull and devil doll, rain, rancid, reading, reel big fish, resevoir dogs, robert kirkman, rocket from the crypt, samuel l. jackson, save ferris, se7en, sealab 2021, serenity rose, shel silverstein, showering, sick of it all, six feet under, sleeping, sleepy hollow, smashing pumpkins, snatch, spider-man, spineshank, spongebob squarepants, squee, star wars, strung out, sublime, suicide machines, sum 41, system of a down, tatoos, the beatles, the big lebowski, the cure, the distillers, the horrorpops, the tick, the ultimates, the vandals, the who, tim burton, tool, trainspotting, transformers, trigun, tsunami bomb, video games, waiting for guffman, writing, x-men, zebrahead
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